


Wrestle Me For It, Dude?

by HeckinaHandbasket, rvspberry (lostnoise)



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Coming In Pants, Dorks in Love, Dry Humping, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Hop In This Handbasket We’re Going To Heck, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Stupidity, Wrestling, fellas is it gay to hump your best dude?, making excuses to hump your best friend, they’re kinda gross but we love them for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:40:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeckinaHandbasket/pseuds/HeckinaHandbasket, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostnoise/pseuds/rvspberry
Summary: Life after high school was truly stellar.No history reports or math tests, no long, boring books to help Ted struggle through until he stopped looking like he was going to cry.Best of all, they had their own space. A most superior domain.Tiny and cluttered and more than a little odiferous, but most superior indeed.Because it was theirs.His and Ted’s, and no one else’s.
Relationships: Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 135





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to our first collaboration! 
> 
> HeckinaHandbasket: We recently saw the new movie and rewatched the old ones and now we’re deep in Bill and Ted heck. 
> 
> To be honest, we love it here. These dudes are so stupid and sweet and so in love. We could write about them all day. 
> 
> Lostnoise: Party on, dudes!

Life after high school was truly stellar. 

No history reports or math tests, no long, boring books to help Ted struggle through until he stopped looking like he was going to cry.

Best of all, they had their own space. A most superior domain. 

Tiny and cluttered and more than a little odiferous, but most superior indeed.

Because it was theirs.

His and Ted’s, and no one else’s.

Sure, it had been slightly heinous when the princesses had dumped them, but they were really better band mates than boyfriends, anyway.

Bill hadn’t even been that bummed about it, which he would have felt weirder about if Ted hadn’t felt the exact same way. 

And, if it was alright with Ted, it was alright with Bill.

It was almost time for Ted to get back from his shift at the pretzel stand in the mall. 

They had tried to sync up their work schedules, but their manager claimed they were less productive when they worked together. It was most non-non-heinous.

The other odious thing in their lives was the busted AC unit in the living room. The tiny bedroom unit continued to putter away but it wasn’t powerful enough to reach the living area.

Ted had come up with the idea of just hanging out in their boxers, which had been most inspired of him. 

People never gave Ted credit for how majorly smart he could be, which was bogus.

So Bill was sprawled across the couch sans pants, bag of Cheetos balanced on his chest while he chugged a cold Pepsi when Ted stumbled through the door, cheese stains down the front of his uniform.

Bill needed to take their laundry over to Missy, soon. She always helped Bill get the stains out of Ted’s clothes.

“Bill, my friend. I have had a most tedious day.”

Bill hummed commiseratingly as Ted stripped out of his uniform right there beside the door.

Ted flopped down on the couch next to him, hair fluffed and messy from ripping his shirt off. His bare leg pressed up against Bill’s and it was really too hot to be comfortable, but. 

He didn’t mind. 

There were tiny pink creases on Ted’s hips and the soft plane of his belly from the waistband of his uniform pants. No big deal, but, Bill noticed.

Bill always noticed Ted.

Ted threw back his soda and dug into Bill’s bag of Cheetos while they watched Star Trek for a while. 

Orange dust spilled out across Bill’s chest, but Ted just shrugged and wiped it up with his sticky fingers before shoving them in his mouth.

Bill yelped as Ted twisted suddenly, digging his knee into Bill’s side.

“Oh! Dude, headbanger’s ball is on. Let’s watch that instead. Here, give me the remote.”

Bill leaned back, swinging the remote up over his head when Ted reached out for it. 

“Just a minute, duder. Let’s wait until this episode is over, I was already watching Kirk lay waste to some gnarly aliens.” 

The air rushed out of him as Ted leaned one hand on Bill’s bare stomach to swipe at the remote. 

“C’mon, Bill. We’ve seen this episode like a gazillion times!”

Bill scooted further away on the couch, remote held high behind him.

“That is a most exaggerated estimation, Ted. I think we’ve only seen this one five or six times.”

The bag of Cheetos slid onto the floor as Ted followed him across the couch.

“Yeah, so we don’t need to see it again. Don’t be a dick, Bill. Give me the remote.”

“No.”

“Dickweed!”

“Stop it, dude!”

They hadn’t wrestled like this since they were little dudes, before Ted had hit that major growth spurt and left Bill in the dust. 

It brought something roaring to life in Bill’s chest, heart pounding as they grappled, sweat-slick skin sliding together. Probably just his, like, competitive spirit, or whatever.

But he had to keep the remote away from Ted, tucking it under his back and keeping his fingers wrapped tightly around it, because… because he wanted to win. Ted huffed above him as he shoved his hands under Bill’s body while Bill wriggled on the couch to keep Ted away from it. Ted huffed and stretched atop Bill, 

“Dude, come on! Give it to me!”

“Get off me, dude!”

Ted managed to get a hand under him, pressed to the small of Bill’s back. Bill grunted, bucking his hips up against Ted to try to throw him off. Bill tried to reach up with his free hand to shove Ted away and halfway succeeded, because Ted ended up taking him off the couch with him.

Rolling over the edge together, Bill was careful not to land too heavily on his best friend. Ted splayed out on the floor between the couch and the rickety little coffee table covered in trash and stale snack bits, while both of them panted and caught their breaths. Bill held the remote up over his head, grinning most triumphantly.

“Dude,” Ted breathed below him and Bill tilted his head to the side curiously at the sight of two dark eyebrows furrowing together. “Are you—are you hard right now?”

Bill froze atop Ted, the grin slipping from his lips. 

Because. Yeah. Bill was definitely chubbing up in his shorts.

He could blame it on the princesses being gone for so long, and having a dry spell since. He could blame it on just being a dude getting some physical activity and getting his blood pumping or whatever. But, looking down at Ted, hair fanned out over the off-color carpeting, cheeks pink, sweat beading over his neck, Bill knew most definitely that none of those reasons were the truth.

Bogus.

Shifting over Ted as embarrassment flooded his gut, Bill paused when something brushed against his thigh. “Dude, whatever, you got a chubby, too!”

He watched as Ted’s cheeks flushed a darker red. And, like, Bill knew just how sweet Ted was - knew that Ted gave out free samples to little kids at work, knew that Ted liked to make dinner for them sometimes and it only tasted a little burnt - but Ted looked so sweet like this. The thought came and went through Bill’s mind quickly enough that he paid it no attention.

Bill shifted again atop Ted, biting back a noise when it caused his dick to rub against Ted’s thigh through their boxers. He licked his lips and noticed Ted’s breathing growing a little heavier, a little deeper. Like he, too was fighting for control.

“Looks like I won, dude,” Bill mumbled, as if either of them were paying any attention to the remote still clutched in Bill’s fist.

Ted didn’t answer beyond a tiny noise caught in the back of his throat when Bill shifted his weight, sparks of pleasure shooting up his spine at the friction. Without thinking too much about it, he did it again, slower and more purposefully.

Ted’s soft, pink lips parted, eyelids heavy. 

“Dude. That feels kinda—“

Bill jumped in to say it with him simultaneously, both of them a little breathless from the scuffle.

“Excellent!”

Ted nodded frantically, hair flopping around his face, dark eyes fixed on Bill almost pleadingly.

Bill had never been able to deny Ted anything.

So, he did it again. And then again.

And then Ted made this helpless little sound and Bill couldn’t stop moving. The remote clattered to the ground beside them as he dropped his hands to brace himself on either side of Ted’s head.

His toes dug into the carpet as he ground forward, dragging his hard dick up the entire length of Ted’s, and Ted moaned like he was in a porno.

They both froze, Ted’s eyes going wide as he clapped one of his big, elegant hands over his mouth.

Bill had never heard that sound before.

And he knew what Ted sounded like when he was getting off, jerking it beneath the covers while Bill did the same a few feet over every night in their bedroom. He knows the uneven, hitching pattern of his breathing and the bitten-back, high-pitched whimpers when he was getting close.

But, this.

Ted had never made that sound before. Not before he was spread out underneath Bill.

The flush across Ted’s cheeks grew deeper, spreading down his throat and chest, a stark contrast to the pale hand held tight over his mouth.

Bill slowly and carefully took his hand away from his face, lacing their fingers together before pinning it down beside the silky spill of Ted’s hair.

“Dude, I wanna—,” his face was burning but he pushed the words out, holding Ted’s gaze, “you sound—good. Hot. Really hot, dude, I wanna hear you.”

Ted gave a shaky nod and they were both still for a moment, unable to look away from each other. 

The Cheeto dust on their hands stuck together at the palms, and Bill tightened his grip, relieved when he felt Ted squeeze back.

“Yeah, Ted?”

Ted was, just.

He was beautiful, panting into the hot, humid air between them. He licked his lips and Bill couldn’t help the jerk of his hips in response.

Ted nodded again, slowly this time.

“Yeah, Bill.”

Then it was Bill’s turn to groan loudly as Ted slowly, haltingly spread his long legs and wrapped them around Bill’s hips.

Bill rocked forward and Ted gasped, clenching his thighs tight. Bill let his free hand slide up the sweaty length of Ted’s forearm to take his other hand, pinning it to the floor on the other side of Ted’s head, fingers intertwined.

He worked up a steady rhythm. And it was so easy. Natural, like the way they made music together. Like Ted was an extension of himself. 

Bill dropped his forehead to Ted’s chest as their bellies slid warm and wet together. He was leaking in his shorts, the damp cotton adding to the drag over the head of his cock as he thrust down against Ted’s.

It felt like he could go on like that forever, just gliding through a warm haze of pleasure until.

Until Ted moaned again. And it was the hottest sound Bill had ever heard. Better than any babe in any stolen porno he’d ever seen.

Because it was Ted.

It was deep, and rough, voice breaking at the end in a way Bill hadn’t heard from Ted since they had finished puberty.

“Ted. Dude, holy shit.”

Ted used his legs to lift his hips up against Bill, goading him to move faster with an urgent whine.

Bill had a sudden insistent urge to kiss him. Not even in a sexy way, just.

Just kiss him, because Ted. 

Ted was enough of a reason for most things Bill did in his life.

Mouth open and wet with his heavy breathing, Bill nosed up under Ted’s jaw, getting a taste of salt-damp skin.

It wasn’t quite a kiss, but it wasn’t definitely a non-kiss, either.

Ted tensed up, fingers spasming around Bill’s, voice choked. “Bill, dude. I’m gonna—Bill, I think I’m gonna—“

Bill lifted his head to say something, he didn’t know what. Didn’t really think about the words crowded inside his mouth.

Words like ‘please’ and ‘babe’ and ‘beautiful’.

But, before he could say anything, Ted threw back his head and came, thighs shaking around Bill’s hips while he spilled hot and wet between them. He closed his mouth against a shout, but Bill heard it anyway.

They had traveled through time together. Witnessed several wonders of the world.

Bill had never seen something so beautiful in all his life.

Nothing so good as this. 

As Ted, come apart and blinking up at him from their pizza-stained carpet.

Bill couldn’t stop, hips moving faster, shifting off to the side when Ted’s face twisted with a sharp whine of overstimulation. He rubbed into the soft hollow of Ted’s hip, gasping as Ted’s hot cum soaked through the cotton, amplifying the friction.

Ted turned his head, hair stuck to his sweaty face as he let his lips brush Bill’s temple, running across his damp curls to settle against his skin.

His fingers tightened around Bill’s, legs still holding on as he whispered, soft and a little broken as if they had just finished a most triumphant concert. “Bill. Dude, it’s your turn, let me see you.”

And it was like a whip cracking through him, body seizing up as Bill spilled into his shorts, soaking into Ted’s until they were a wet, sweaty mess.

Together.

Bill panted as he came down from that pleasure-high, breathing sticky-humid over the skin of Ted’s chest. They were soaked through, Bill’s hair a tangle of damp curls atop his head, Ted’s sticking to his face in wet clumps. Bill let go of one of Ted’s hands to push the locks out of his friend’s face and waited a moment there, just looking at Ted. One word that had crossed his mind earlier came back.

Beautiful.

Bill bit the word back, swallowing thickly as they continued to pant and stare at each other.

“Bill, my friend,” Ted started, gazing up at him with wide eyes. “That was  _ most _ excellent.”

Bill grinned back at him, Ted’s own smile snapping into place as it always did, and he sat up so they could both air guitar.

“You can have the first shower, dude,” Bill told him as they shuffled into sitting positions against the couch. 

“Thanks, Bill.”

As Ted hauled himself to stand and walk to the bathroom, Bill reached for the remote he’d dropped in his distraction and flipped the television to Headbangers Ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, they’re gonna have to wrestle with these feelings (and each other) a whole lot more before we get to the end. 
> 
> More is on the way, reader dudes! 
> 
> Follow us for more writing, fanart, and headcanons. We can’t stop talking about these dudes!
> 
> https://twitter.com/HeckinaH
> 
> https://twitter.com/rvspberryjonas
> 
> http://heck-in-a-handbasket.tumblr.com/
> 
> http://rvspberryjvm.tumblr.com/


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heck- These dudes sure are wrestling with their feelings!
> 
> Lostnoise- Hope you enjoy the chapter!

They don’t talk about it.

It was just… too difficult to talk about, really. How do you ask your best friend about rubbing off against each other? Humping each other until they came?

And what was there to say, really?

A few days later found them sitting on the couch and picking at their guitars but not really doing anything productive. It was a rare night where they’d both managed to get off of work, and they started the evening wanting to get some songwriting done, but their brains were empty of any actionable ideas. No melodies, no chords, no lyrics.

Bill was plucking at some chords but frowned. Maybe his brain would work better if he picked the notes? “Ted, my friend, could you pass me a pick?”

Ted’s fingers died on the fretboard before he nodded and grabbed a spare from the coffee table. There was a long pause, and Bill glanced over to find Ted looking at him through his shaggy bangs. Bill tilted his head questioningly. Ted took a breath.

“Wrestle me for it, dude?”

The challenge was shakily spoken, not entirely confident, but Ted didn’t look away from Bill’s eyes.

Heat curled through Bill’s gut as his mind flew back to the other day when they’d been sweating and grinding and—

Yeah. Bill was more than happy to take that challenge.

“You’re on, dude,” Bill mumbled, sliding the strap over his head and putting his guitar carefully aside while Ted did the same.

Bill launched himself at Ted as soon as his guitar was on the floor, hands grappling for the pick hidden in Ted’s palm.

They managed to stay on the couch this time, little grunts slipping from their lips as they wriggled and shoved and fought. Ted was snickering as he played keep-away, grin wide on his face, until Bill managed to pin his wrists to the armrest, weight pressing Ted’s hands into the soft side of the couch. A shaky gasp startled from Ted’s lips and Bill could feel the air between them shifting from playful to something else.

Something heated and intense that had been idling on the edges ever since Ted asked Bill to wrestle him for the pick. 

Bill licked his lips, eyes going heavy-lidded, before he rocked his hips forward against Ted’s. Another gasp slipped from Ted’s throat, chest hitching, and Ted’s legs fell open easily.

Eagerly.

It was probably the hottest thing Bill had ever seen, Ted’s legs sliding open to accommodate Bill’s hips, slotting them together in a way where they just… fit. Like Bill was made to be there. The thought came unbidden and Bill arched his hips against Ted’s again, a moan tumbling out of his mouth this time.

Ted’s thighs squeezed around his waist, heels digging into the small of Bill’s back as Ted rocked up against him.

The firm press of Ted’s body, the heat of him, the tiny noises knocked from his mouth - the very fact that this was Ted beneath him, his best friend, his most outstanding colleague - had Bill’s fingers squeezing their hold on Ted’s wrists, thumb brushing over his pulse point.

Bill lowered his body down to his forearms and pressed their clothed chests together. It felt less exposed with both of them fully clothed, and suddenly Bill missed the heat and sweat of Ted’s chest. He swallowed thickly, dick twitching in the confines of his jeans, thinking about how Ted’s skin had felt. About Ted’s skin beneath his hands, all soft and smooth and warm.

This close, it was impossible not to stare into Ted’s eyes. As usual, Ted was gazing right back. Attention all laser-focused and sweet. Like Ted couldn’t look away, like he didn’t want to.

And, like, had Ted’s eyes always been that big and that dark? Had they always been framed with those long lashes? Were they always so… so beautiful?

Bill pumped his dick forward, slotting it up against Ted’s in the sort of delicious grind that pulled an equally delicious moan from Ted’s mouth. Made those dark eyelashes flutter. Bill couldn’t help but feel powerful with Ted’s pleasure placed in his careful hands. Always so careful with Ted.

Because Bill had been taking care of his best friend since they were kids, from tying Ted’s shoelaces until he finally learned how to do it himself in middle school, to their lackluster academic careers in high school, to their simple mall jobs now that they were adults.

He liked the way his dick dragged against Ted’s, liked the way Ted squirmed beneath him, moaning and panting and only looking away from Bill’s eyes when he had to shut his own. He liked the warmth of Ted’s body and just—just the very fact that this was Ted, the one person in his life he could never live without. The one person who always understood him, no matter what, the one who was most patient with him and most outstanding to him. He liked making Ted happy. 

It hit Bill that this was just one more way Bill was taking care of him. And Bill liked this, too.

Maybe more than he really should.

As soon as that thought came, so did Bill, shaking apart atop his friend while Ted’s legs tightened around him, rocking with Bill through his shudders as he spilled into his boxers.

Ted was biting at his lower lip, cheeks flushed pink with his arousal, still squirming beneath Bill. He pulled at Bill’s grip around his wrists halfheartedly, both of them aware that Ted was right where he wanted to be. But even through the hazy fog of pleasure that had clouded his mind from a _most_ intense orgasm, Bill took a deep, fortifying breath and readjusted himself atop his friend. Sliding his thigh between Ted’s legs, he pressed the thick muscle against Ted’s crotch to feel the warm, heavy, hard weight of it against his leg, giving Ted something to rub against without overstimulating Bill’s sensitive dick post-orgasm.

“C’mon, Ted,” he murmured. Ted’s eyes were shut tightly as he panted and wriggled and tried to get there. 

And, as usual, Bill knew just what his friend needed. 

Bill shifted his grip on Ted’s wrists until they were both clutched in one hand and he pushed them even harder into the side of the couch. One hand now free, Bill reached down to grab Ted’s hip and coaxed him into rocking against Bill’s thigh. Riding it.

Bill was helping Ted ride his thigh. If Bill hadn’t already come, he was sure he’d be spilling right now. Seeing Ted’s face twist up with pleasure was almost too much for Bill, and so he leaned down until his nose nudged along the side of Ted’s cheek. God, Ted was… he was just so… 

“You’re almost there,” Bill encouraged. His mouth brushed over Ted’s ear and he licked his lips only to swallow thickly when he heard a tiny noise lodge itself in Ted’s throat at the small, barely-there touch of Bill’s tongue to the shell of Ted’s ear. “I can tell, Ted. Can tell by the way you sound. You’re so close. Just let go. Let go for me.”

Ted shivered, head pushing back against the couch, while his hips bucked only a handful of times up into Bill’s thigh before that noise that had caught in his throat tumbled from his mouth in a strangled moan.

Bill pulled back to look down at his friend, just, staring. Watching his chest heaving, panting open-mouthed, eyes squeezed shut. Ted’s eyelashes fluttered as his dark eyes cracked open to peer back at Bill.

_Beautiful._

If Ted were a chick, Bill would be leaning in to kiss him. The urge was there despite Ted’s lack of boobs. Really, Ted was more beautiful than a lot of babes Bill had seen while working at the mall, some of the most bodacious babes that San Dimas had to offer. And yet here was Ted, sweaty and gazing up at Bill with his pupils blown wide, his lips bitten dark pink, dark hair spread out around his head.

“That was _most_ excellent, Bill, my friend,” Ted croaked below him.

Bill leaned back, shifting to sit on his heels, and Ted rubbed lightly at his wrists.

“Dude, I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Bill asked, reaching out to gently run his own fingers along the outside of Ted’s wrists.

“No way, dude!” Ted laughed, eyes sparkling in the crappy lighting of their apartment. He paused and looked down at his hand curiously before he looked up at Bill with a bright grin. Holding his hand out, Ted offered Bill the pick he’d asked for that started it all. “Here’s the pick!”

Bill grinned back, fighting back a rising tide of affection the likes of which he’d never felt before. “Thanks, Ted, my friend! You’re outstanding!”

Playing air guitar at each other, Ted looked over his shoulder at the kitchen.

“I could like, start dinner if you wanna get the first shower,” Ted offered.

Bill didn’t think his smile could get any happier. “Most resplendent thinking, dude.”

~

After that, everything became a competition determined by wrestling. The morning shift at Pretzels and Cheese, dish duty, even the last ice pop in the freezer. One of them would turn to the other, eyebrow cocked, and ask, “Wrestle me for it?”

It became a more physical game of rock-paper-scissors that always devolved into them rubbing and moaning and coming in their shorts, followed by long, lingering looks and a shower apiece. 

Most of the time, Bill won. 

Well, he didn’t always win whatever they were vying for, but he almost always ended up on top. Because, the first time Ted had won, and pinned Bill down, he had faltered. Hesitated, with his baby-deer-in-headlights eyes and clumsy limbs. 

He tried a few shaky thrusts before looking down at Bill with his bangs across his face, lips trembling, and just said, “Bill.”

So Bill had flipped them over and buried his face in Ted’s neck as he went hard and fast, lips moving against his sweat-damp skin while Ted whined and writhed beneath him, clinging onto his back with big hands. Bill whispered into his warm throat, feeling the vibrations from his moaning against his cheek.

“I got you, Ted.”

The only problem was, Bill couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He’d close his eyes for a second and Ted’s face would flash by, mouth open and wet as he gasped and squirmed beneath him. 

Sometimes Ted would move a certain way or make a certain sound under his breath and Bill found himself just, staring like a creep. Fixated on Ted’s throat, or his lips, or his thighs.

Ted would hand him a Pepsi, and their hands would brush together, and Bill would get all red and flustered because he couldn’t stop thinking about Ted’s hands on him.

Or, even better, getting his hands on Ted. 

They didn’t really use their hands or mouths when they were getting off, by some unspoken agreement. They just kinda, rubbed up together.

Nothing like giving each other handies or blowies.

Because that might make it more real. Something more than just two horny dudes being best guys together.

He and Ted were just, like. Super close.

The bestest of best friends.

Ted didn’t seem to suffer the same non-triumphant preoccupation that Bill did.

But, then again, Ted had always kinda stared at Bill.

Watching intently while he talked, blinking and nodding to show he was listening, to show his support.

If anything, Ted looked away more now than he ever had before. Sometimes, when Bill was relaying a most fantastic tale, Ted’s eyes would fall to his mouth before wrenching away to stare at the wall, or over Bill's head, leaving Bill looking at the long stretch of his throat as Ted swallowed against nothing.

It was most unprecedented.

Their bedtime routine changed a little, too. It grew more and more difficult to pretend like they didn’t notice and weren’t listening every night when they both reached into their shorts and took themselves in hand.

It had been easy, before, simple. Just something two dudes did because they needed to. No judgement or awkwardness involved.

But, now.

Now it was both the highlight of Bill’s day, but also, a little bit like torture. 

Trying not to let his breath hitch at every little sound Ted made, trying not to make too many noises himself for fear of Ted’s name spilling from his lips like a pot boiling over. 

He got so turned on just knowing that Ted was getting off right next to him that it was a struggle not to come suspiciously fast.

At first, Bill closed his eyes, but that was almost worse, as he could see so plainly in his mind’s eye the way Ted’s face would twist into beautiful shapes, mouth hanging open as his eyes rolled back in pleasure.

So he tried staring at the ceiling, but the temptation to look was too great, so he turned his head, and—

Ted was looking back.

His big, dark eyes widened in surprise as he let out a quiet moan and Bill was coming, just like that. He didn’t even look away when Ted finished right after, sweaty and panting as Bill pulled his sticky hand from under the covers to reach for the tissues they kept on the amp between them for this express purpose. 

He held one out to Ted, cheeks burning as Ted took it with a shiny-wet hand and a dopey little satisfied smile.

“Thanks, my friend.”

Bill’s dreams were most confusing, after that.

Wrestling and kissing and ripping sweet riffs on their guitars and kissing and.

Basically, it was always on his mind. So, when he spotted a book in a window display at the mall with old drawings of naked dudes and the word “wrestling,” he had to investigate. 

It was most informative. 

He didn’t buy the book, but he spent a good ten minutes flipping through it on a journey of discovery he knew he needed to share with Ted.

So, he was ready, when there was only one spoon clean to eat their ice cream after dinner, and Ted held it up with a little smirk. “Wrestle me for it, dude?”

Bill was ready.

“Oh, totally, duder. But, you know. I was reading this book, about Ancient Greek dudes? And they used to wrestle a lot, but, uh. Naked. With oil.”

Ted was silent for a beat, blinking as the words set in. 

“Like. Butt naked?”

Bill nodded, unable to get more words out around his heart in his throat. Ted considered that for a second, brow furrowed, before he tilted his head, hair falling across his forehead in a bodaciously attractive way.

“But, we don’t have any oil.”

Bill’s palms were sweating, heart pounding like he was trying to ask somebody to prom, which was ridiculous.

It was only Ted. Bill had nothing to worry about. 

“Yeah we do, Ted. Remember that olive oil Missy gave us?”

He would never get tired of watching the bounce of Ted’s hair as he smiled and bobbed his head. “Oh, yeah! But. Isn’t that for, like, cooking, dude?”

Bill had prepared for this. He had read a whole handful of pages about it. Like, more than three. 

“According to my research, Ted, those Ancient Greek dudes totally used it for wrestling, too.”

Ted’s hair swung in his face as he bobbed his head again. “Whoa. Do you—you wanna try that?”

It was like Van Halen was playing on Bill’s heartstrings.

“Excellent idea, Ted! I’ll go get the oil.”

Ted was waiting on Bill’s bed when he got back, long limbs splayed with the loose, clumsy grace only Ted could achieve. 

His wide-open knees brought Bill’s attention right to the shape of his hard-on trapped in his jeans. It made Bill feel better about his own chubby tenting his pants.

Ted was an expert at making Bill feel better.

He seemed nervous, though, running one hand through his hair to pull it off his face, giving Bill a brief, beautiful full view of his finely sculpted features before he shook it all back over his eyes.

Bill still caught the way Ted’s gaze dropped to Bill’s dick before focusing on the bottle in his hands.

“That’s the stuff? You sure about this, dude?”

Bill knocked some comics off the amp to set down the bottle, then stepped close enough to bump their knees together, ducking his head to meet Ted’s eye.

“Hey. Ted, dude? We don’t need to use it if you don’t want. We can just forget the whole thing. Probably a stupid idea, anyway.”

He started to step away, planning to nab the bottle and take it back to the kitchen, but Ted stood up and grabbed his hand.

Bill had to look up into his face, but it was okay, because Ted was just about the only person who never made Bill feel small.

“Not stupid, Bill, dude. You’re the smartest guy I know. You always have the best, most outstanding ideas!”

He spoke softly, but it cut through Bill like a bitchin’ guitar solo. Left him breathless and wanting like only the best music could.

He knew, deep in his soul, that once they learned to play properly, Ted would make the greatest music Bill had ever heard.

He was still holding Bill’s hand, long fingers curled around his knuckles and Bill wanted to twist his wrist until they pressed palm to palm, wanted to lace their fingers together and stretch up on his toes to fit his lips against Ted’s open mouth, and—

“You okay, dude?”

Bill rocked back on his heels with a stilted laugh, tugging his hand out of Ted’s grip, trying not to panic at the flash of something like hurt in his eyes.

“Totally fine, duder. Did you, uh, still wanna wrestle?”

He laughed for real at the enthusiasm of Ted’s nod.

“For sure, Bill. But, how do we do it? Do we just put the oil on, like, our junk?”

Bill was leaking in his shorts, just from the notion of Ted rubbing oil on himself. 

Ted had been right. This was a truly stellar idea.

“I think it’s supposed to be, like, all over, dude.”

Ted’s eyes darted to Bill's shoulders and arms, then down to the stretch of his stomach exposed by his crop top and, finally, to the bulge of his dick in his jeans.

“Oh. Excellent.”

Ted nearly elbowed Bill in the face trying to pull his shirt off over his head, blinking adorably as his head popped free, hair fluffed in all directions.

Bill followed suit, ditching his clothes until they stood in just their faded boxers. 

Ted was so hard that the head of his dick was starting to peek out of the fly opening at the front, and Bill just wanted to drop to his knees and—-

“On three, dude?”

Ted’s chest was rising and falling rapidly as he paused with his hands on his waistband, waiting for Bill.

Bill nodded, swallowing back a hellacious excess of saliva as he hooked his thumbs in his boxers.

“One. Two. Three!”

They both shoved their shorts to the floor in one decisive move. Bill had to bite back an embarrassing sound at the way Ted’s cock slapped against his belly as it bounced free of the elastic. 

He was just as long and elegant there as he was everywhere else. Beautiful. 

Bill would have felt self-conscious of his own slightly shorter, thicker, pinker dick if Ted hadn’t been staring at it like it was a bowl of ice cream on a hot day.

“Whoa. Bill, you’re like, totally a natural blond, dude.”

Bill resisted the urge to cover up his non-excellent blond pubes by shoving at Ted’s shoulder instead.

“Shut up, Ted!”

Ted just laughed and tugged at a curl on the side of Bill’s head. “It’s most attractive, dude. I mean, like. Babes will dig it.”

He dropped his hand to rub at the back of his own neck, addressing the tail end of his sentence to Bill’s toes.

Bill grabbed the oil, fumbling with the cap just to have something to focus on that wasn’t Ted’s dick and how much he wanted to—

“Check it out, Bill!”

Ted held up an old ratty towel before he flicked it with a flourish and laid it across Bill’s bed. Bill threw out his free arm with excitement.

“Good thinking, Ted!”

Ted blushed harder at that than he had when they had pulled out their dicks and it made Bill want to do nothing but whisper nice things to him for the rest of the afternoon. Just watching him blush and smile like that, like the sun was inside of him and shining through.

Bill cursed under his breath as he poured too much oil into his hand and it started dripping down his arm. He smacked the whole handful to his chest, oil running down in thick, slippery drops before he could catch them.

Ted made a sound like he had gotten the wind knocked out of him, gaze trained on the drips racing toward Bill’s unflagging dick.

“Whoa.”

Bill set the bottle down to chase after the runaway oil racing down his abs. “Hurry up and get started, dude. This stuff’s getting away from me.”

Ted got his own handful of oil, hesitating before he smeared it across his belly with an unsure grimace.

Bill immediately forgot all about his own oily issues, focused entirely on the most outstanding sight of Ted rubbing his big hands all over his golden skin, getting slick and shiny.

Was it normal to want to lick your best friend?

It had to be. Bill wanted it so badly.

And Ted was his very best friend.

Bill sucked in air through his teeth, grabbing unthinkingly at his aching dick as Ted slid a hand up the inside of his thigh, leaving it shimmering with oil.

Maybe those Greek dudes really knew what they were doing.

Once he started touching his dick, it was kinda hard to stop. The oil was warm and slick and he wasn’t sure he’d ever been this turned on before.

Ted whispered his name and Bill looked up to meet his eyes as Ted’s hand fell to his own dick.

He mostly stayed up at the tip with short, loose tugs. It was so different from the tight and fast grip Bill always used on himself that he let go entirely to study what Ted was doing.

For, like, scientific comparison. Or something.

Ted released himself with a huff, shaking out his limbs in a way that was so familiar it made Bill smile. “Sorry, dude. Almost forgot we were supposed to be wrestling.”

“Yeah. For the. The spoon?”

“Uh-huh.”

Ted sounded as distracted as Bill felt, eyes glued to the streaks of oil over Bill’s skin. He lifted a hand to push his hair back, stopping just in time with a scrunch of his nose.

He looked at Bill with delight. “Dude, righteous! We totally smell like pizza!”

Bill sniffed his own hand and had to agree.

Words died in his throat as Ted licked a slow stripe up his arm, over his palm, tongue curling around his long middle finger before he pulled off with a thoughtful expression. “Doesn’t taste like pizza, though. Tastes kinda heinous, dude.”

That was strange, because Bill thought it looked amazingly delicious.

“Yeah, dude, it’s not for tasting. It’s for cooking. And wrestling.”

“Oh, yeah. You wanna—?”

He didn’t finish because Bill was on him, shoulder to his chest as he tackled Ted onto the mattress. Candy wrappers and comics bounced off the bed onto the floor as they rolled around together.

It was different, naked and covered in oil. All warm, slick skin sliding together. Hard to get a grip.

Bill really needed to get a grip, before he did something completely boneheaded. Like lick Ted’s tightly beaded nipple right there by his mouth.

Ted flipped them over easily with Bill’s distraction, triumphant grin slipping from his face as their dicks slid together for the first time without any barriers. 

It felt like the very first time he had heard Eddie Van Halen on guitar. Felt like his blood was made of lightning.

Bill bucked his hips with a grunt as Ted breathed out the sweetest, tiniest whimper and let Bill roll on top.

They were done grappling, then.

Bill tried to pin Ted’s arms, but they were too slippery, and, besides, he wasn’t exactly resisting being pinned.

His legs had already fallen open, oil-slicked thighs gliding over Bill’s hips.

His fingers clutched at Bill’s shoulders, slipping down until Ted gave up and just started sliding his hands all over Bill’s back, up and down his spine. The tips of his fingers grazed over Bill’s ass and Bill started thrusting, slotting their dicks together. He dropped his weight down to trap their dicks between their slick stomachs, and it was. Was totally—

“Excellent.” 

Ted panted in his ear, lifting his hips into every thrust.

Bill rested on one forearm to free up his hand to glide over Ted’s skin. 

Just, touching. 

Ted was touching him, too, roaming all over his back and shoulders, sliding out to grab his arms and squeeze.

So it had to be okay, for Bill to explore the silky slip of oil over Ted’s ribs up to his chest, to cup him there like he was a babe. 

Ted was such a babe. In a dudely kinda way. 

Bill’s thumb brushed across his nipple and Ted cried out, cock jumping where it was trapped between them. They both paused, surprised by how good it was.

“Whoa. Ted. Can I—?”

Ted nodded, eyes wide on Bill’s face as his hands clutched Bill’s biceps. 

“Yeah, dude. Bill, anything.”

Bill took a short breath and circled his thumb around Ted’s nipple, taking it between two fingers to roll it and tease it into a hardened bud. Below him, Ted gasped and arched his chest up into the touch, and just the sight of it had Bill’s dick blurting out a bit of precum onto Ted’s.

“You look so good, dude.” The words bubbled out from Bill’s lips before he could help it, and he bit at his lower lip as if that would reel back in what he had already said.

But Ted just moaned, legs sliding wider against the towel beneath them.

Bill took courage from that response, pinching lightly at Ted’s nipple to pull a sharp bark of a noise from Ted’s mouth. He leaned down and hovered his mouth above Ted’s pec, breath washing hot and humid over the oil-slick skin, and drew that hard little point between his lips to suck gently.

The reaction was immediate. Ted’s hands flew up to Bill’s hair and both sets of fingers sunk into the blonde curls to tug softly.

“Bill,” he moaned, pushing his chest up again.

Almost like he was putting himself on display for Bill. 

That’s probably not what he actually was doing, but Bill couldn’t help the little fantasy that evolved in his head.

Ted, eager for Bill’s touch, his mouth, his cock. Ted, pink-cheeked and panting and writhing below him. Ted, begging Bill, only Bill, for more.

Bill pulled back and nipped at Ted’s nipple before switching to the other one, using the hand not propping himself up to cup Ted’s chest again. Squeezed it, brushed his thumb over the damp skin and flicked his nail against the sensitive nub.

Bill drew back, panting himself, to look down at Ted again. And boy, did he look good. Like, if sex was a person, that person would look like Ted did right now. Straight out of a fantasy.

Out of Bill’s most secret fantasies.

“You like that?” Bill asked, voice quiet and rough with arousal.

He reached up with his other hand to cup the opposite side of Ted’s chest and squeezed that too, feeling Ted up like he was a chick. It was _most_ non-heinous, and Bill drove his hips forward to slide their dicks together, making both of them moan loudly.

Ted reached up to curl his fingers around Bill’s wrists. Bill thought his hands would be pushed away, but Ted held his hands there, pressing his chest up again, his body sliding against Bill’s, and it was— it was _fantastic_.

“You’re most stellar, Ted, my friend,” Bill groaned, pinching Ted’s nipples between his thumb and the knuckle of his forefinger while his hips pushed again.

“You feel so good, Bill,” Ted panted as he rocked his own hips in time with Bill’s, causing the heads of their cocks to catch, and they both hissed at the utterly amazing sensation.

When Bill dragged his eyes away from the sight of Ted’s chest beneath his hands, shiny and slick with oil, he found Ted already gazing up at him, those big dark eyes open at half-mast. He looked so good like this, so good when he was wrapped up in pleasure. Bill wanted to be able to make Ted look like this every day.

“The oil was a most outstanding idea,” Ted told him, breathless, as he let go of Bill’s wrists to run his hands down Bill’s back. His fingertips grazed each bump of Bill’s spine until Bill shivered from over-sensitivity, like every little inch of skin that Ted touched was alive and buzzing. 

And still, Bill steadily rocked into Ted, breath growing ragged where it caught in Bill’s chest and tumbled roughly from his mouth.

Ted was so hot.

Like, yeah, temperature wise, sure, his skin was warm and slick with oil and sweat starting to bead from the activity between them.

But also he just looked so damn good, so… so _sexy_ in ways Bill routinely denied himself the opportunity to think about. It was easier to push down those thoughts where they wouldn’t see the light of day, until he was alone with his dick in hand, or late at night when they both pretended not to hear the other. But Bill always listened, couldn’t not listen. The idea of not hearing the little gasp that choked in Ted’s throat right before he came was unbearable.

Bill’s touch on Ted’s chest grew a little rougher as he squeezed the flesh and pinched Ted’s nipples. He ate up every noise of pleasure while he rubbed his dick against Ted’s.

It was heady, having his best friend like this. Having him panting and whining and begging for more. And who was Bill to deny him?

“Bill. I want—Bill, please, dude, I—“

Ted looked feverish, face flushed and sweaty, lips red-bitten and wet. He gazed up at Bill through heavy lashes as his fingers fell down to Bill’s ass, digging into the muscle. 

Bill took that as permission to grab a handful of Ted’s ass, himself, lifting him up into Bill’s thrusts. It was good. So good.

But.

The oil was so slick that Bill's hand slipped, fingers sliding in between Ted’s cheeks, where he was soft and warm and secret. He felt just as good there as he did everywhere else, but, hotter. More intimate.

Ted’s eyes flew open and Bill opened his mouth to apologize, fingers still slipping deeper until he brushed against. Against the soft heat of Ted’s hole, and.

And Ted hiccoughed out a broken, beautiful sound and came all over Bill’s cock.

Hot, quick spurts that sent Bill tumbling over the edge with a shout, still holding tight to Ted’s ass and cupping his chest.

Bill slumped forward until his forehead touched Ted’s sweaty, oiled-up chest, panting as he came down from a most triumphant orgasm. Ted’s chest heaved below him which made him giggle a little as his own head was jostled with each breath.

Letting out a small groan, Bill flopped over so that he wasn’t resting on top of Ted entirely but rather was along Ted’s side. He licked his lips as he tried to form words.

“That was-”

“Yeah,” Ted finished, sounding out of breath. He looked over at Bill.

“Whoa,” they said together only to grin and do a little air guitar at each other after.

Bill kind of wanted to stay there, pressed up against Ted’s side, almost like they were cuddling or something. …Or maybe that was a little too much.

“That totally worked up my appetite, Ted!” Bill rolled out of bed and held up a single finger.

He stumbled out of the bedroom, grabbed the carton of rocky road out of the freezer and the last spoon, sending a little thank-you to the pile of dishes neither he nor Ted had touched in a few days. Bill promised himself that he’d clean them all tomorrow morning.

Coming back into the bedroom, Bill tossed another towel at Ted’s face and laughed when Ted scrambled up to sit and wipe himself down with pink cheeks and his hair in disarray.

Bill slumped onto the bed next to Ted, the carton cold in his hands, and pulled the lid off to display the sweet treat. Taking the first spoonful, Bill quickly gobbled it down and grinned around the mouthful as he offered the spoon and carton out for Ted to take.

Ted gave him a hopeful look before it crumpled on his face and he sighed. “It’s yours, Bill. You won it fair and square, dude.”

Bill frowned and swallowed his bite, mulling it over in his head. “Yeah, but, like… You can’t eat ice cream with a fork, Ted.”

“Guess I just won’t have any, then.”

Ted shrugged and sent a sad little glance at the rocky road. It was his favorite flavor.

Bill took a somewhat shaky, fortifying breath and scooped up a heaping spoonful before he crawled closer on his knees, holding the spoon up to Ted’s mouth.

“Nah. That’s bogus. Open up, duder.”

He did, mouth and eyes flying open wide. Bill couldn’t look away as he slipped the cold, creamy treat inside, as Ted’s lips closed around it, tongue chasing after when Bill pulled the spoon away.

He was holding the carton so tightly the cardboard started to dent.

“Good?” Bill asked, and despite the breath he’d taken earlier to level himself out, he felt breathless anyway.

Ted nodded enthusiastically, smiling with his lips pursed closed, and his hair shook into his face. He was just. Such a sweet guy. And Bill wanted to make sure that he would always have a smile on his face. So he traded bites with Ted back and forth until a little glob fell off the spoon and onto his hand.

“Ah, bogus,” Bill sighed. “What a waste.”

But then Ted swooped down, slick pink tongue darting out and sliding along the trail of melted chocolate ice cream up his wrist and along his finger, sucking it into his mouth. That tongue ran around it as Ted sucked gently, his eyes locked on Bill’s face.

Bill couldn’t breathe. Like if he inhaled, this spell they were so clearly under would break and he wouldn’t get to have this anymore.

Ted drew back, face wrinkled up. “Dude, heinous—you still taste like olive oil!”

“Gnarly,” Bill said back, scrunching his face up too, and then they were both cracking into laughter. “Let’s finish this up and then we can catch showers?”

“Sounds good, Bill, my friend,” Ted affirmed with his usual wide smile and enthusiastic nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heck- Almost there, duders. It takes Bill and Ted a while to work their way through these things. 
> 
> Lostnoise- They’re not the brightest bulbs, but they’ll get there eventually.
> 
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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things changed, after that.
> 
> It was as though a dam had been broken, some invisible barrier they had been bumping up against all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lostnoise- We’re at the end, my dudes. Enjoy these morons in their final form.
> 
> Heck- I think these sweet boys deserve a happy ending, don’t you? Let’s find out...

Things changed, after that.

It was as though a dam had been broken, some invisible barrier they had been bumping up against all along.

Bill could, just, put his hands on Ted, now. And Ted did the same. Not even in a sexual way, just—

It was so easy, to cup Ted’s hip in the kitchen and nudge him out of the way when Bill wanted to get in the fridge.

To rest his arm along the back of the couch, fingers curled around Ted’s shoulder while they watched TV.

To lean into Ted’s side while he wrapped a long arm around Bill, tugging lightly on his curls while they listened to their favorite albums.

That part was the easiest of all.

The part that wasn’t easy, the part that kept Bill awake at night, staring up at the ceiling while he listened to Ted’s soft breathing, was the inescapable thought, that, maybe—

Maybe what they were doing was a little more than friendship.

A lot more, even.

That maybe it wasn’t just normal dude stuff to hold hands while they rubbed off on each other, panting each other’s names.

That maybe, Bill couldn’t stop thinking about kissing Ted because he was—

He was—

Of course he loved Ted. He had always loved Ted, from the moment they met on the playground and every single second since, but.

But, maybe. 

This was different.

Maybe Bill was.

Bill was totally, deeply, irrevocably in love with Ted.

And.

He had always been able to figure out what Ted was feeling, at any given time.

Ted was a beautifully illustrated open book.

So, he suspected that Ted felt the same.

It was all over his face while Bill worked over him, eyes dark with desire and glued to Bill’s face.

It was in Ted’s voice, when he said Bill’s name first thing in the morning, scratchy and low and so, so happy to see him. His smile lit up the room every time it was directed at Bill, and Bill felt himself light up along with it.

So, then, why was it so hard?

It felt impossible, to just. Say it.

So, he didn’t.

Bill didn’t say it when Ted came home from work and he rested his head on Bill’s stomach while Bill played with his hair.

And he didn’t say it when Ted figured out that new chord and looked up at Bill with shocked, proud eyes.

And he didn’t say it when Ted shattered apart beneath him, gasping Bill’s name.

Bill just, never said it.

It was like the wrestling, like—if they just didn’t talk about it, then nothing had changed.

Everything was the way it had always been.

Bill loved Ted and that was the way it was.

He didn’t wake up every morning and announce that the sky was blue, either, because they both knew that it just  _ was _ .

Bill ignored the voice on his head calling him a coward as he refilled the cheez machine at work, thinking about the note Ted had left for him at his prep station.

It was just a scribbled lyric with a smiley face.

Nothing he wouldn’t have left for Bill before they started this.

There was no reason for it to make Bill’s heart pound, face aching from the force of his smile.

No reason for it to make his stomach twist with guilt over words left unsaid.

Words somebody like Ted deserved to hear everyday.

Bill had time to think about things since the mall was slow that day, not very many people wanting pretzels nor cheese. So he thought about Ted. About what he wanted with Ted, and what Ted maybe wanted with Bill... About what Bill needed, which was— Ted. Just Ted. Just his best friend in the entire world, across all of time and space.

Ted was feeding their fish when Bill got home, carefully tapping little bits of food into their bowl.

He stood there in tattered boxers, elastic stretched out and hanging low on his hips while his tongue poked out in concentration and Bill had never seen anything so beautiful.

Ted glanced up with a smile at the sound of the door closing behind Bill. 

“Welcome home, dude! How was your day?”

Bill’s day was good, just like everyday he got to wake up with Ted and come home to Ted and—

And it was time for him to be brave.

Ted’s smile faltered when Bill didn’t answer. Bill took a deep breath and started stripping out of his work clothes.

If they were going to do this, he wanted them to be on even footing. 

He kicked out of his pants and stood there in just his boxers and socks while he squared his shoulders and looked Ted in the eye.

“I think we need to have a talk, Ted.”

Ted’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped and he looked—

He looked worried, scared, even.

Bill rushed forward to reassure him, grabbing his hands without thinking, just wanting to make Ted feel better. 

“Nothing bad, dude. I just, I feel like there’s something I should say. Should’ve said a while ago.”

Ted took a deep breath and nodded his head. His hair flew around his face, settling in his eyes in the way that always told Bill that Ted was nervous.

But right as Bill opened his mouth, summoning the courage to say the words that needed to be said, Ted opened his.

“Bill… I love you.”

Bill’s eyes went wide, eyebrows raising in surprise. “No way, duder! Ted, I love you too!”

“No way!” Ted shot back. The dumbstruck look on his face was only made cuter by the slow smile curling up the edges of his lips. 

A small smile crept onto Bill’s face as well. “Whoa!”

“Dude, I’ve been thinking about how to tell you all day,” Bill said, voice going quiet and soft towards the end. 

“Well, I think about you all day anyway,” Ted admitted with his usual matter-of-fact way of talking, a little shrug accompanying it, before his cheeks burned bright red with sudden embarrassment. “But, dude.”

“What is it, duder?” Bill asked, and he squeezed Ted’s hands gently.

“It’s not—not like  _ friends _ , dude.” Ted dropped his gaze along with the volume of his voice until he was whispering. “I—I love you, like  _ more _ than friends.”

“Well, yeah, dude,” agreed Bill. He nodded understandingly, a tiny grin spreading over his face. He tried to catch Ted’s eye and his smile only grew wider when he managed to do so. Ted peered back, blinking owlishly. “You’re my most outstanding, most resplendent friend. I love you, Ted. Like… like I need oxygen in my lungs.”

Ted gaped at him, those dark eyes Bill loved so much opened wide in shocked hope. 

Bill had to lean in and kiss him, had to get his lips on Ted’s. He’d been thinking about this, too. Kissing Ted. 

They were both a little eager, and Bill pulled away just a bit to soften the kiss to something warm that made him sigh happily.

He let go of one of Ted’s hands to touch his shoulder, cupping right against the base of Ted’s neck.

It was the best first kiss ever, especially when Ted made a little noise and pressed closer.

Not that Bill had much to compare it with. Kissing the princesses had been fun and exciting on the rare occasions they let Bill and Ted try, but this was—

This was something else, entirely.

Bill could have never kissed anyone before and he would still be able to recognize this feeling, deep in his bones, as something special.

Extraordinary.

Ted buried his fingers in Bill’s curls, holding him in place as he licked his mouth open and—

And then, Ted was inside him. 

The soft, warm glide of his tongue past the barrier of Bill’s teeth hit him like a lightning bolt. 

Things got a little fuzzy, after that, as Bill’s socks skidded over Ted’s bare calves when he tried to climb him like a tree.

Ted pulled away with a soft little laugh that gave voice to the joy sparkling in his eyes, punctuating his words with tiny kisses all over Bill’s face.

“Wanna take this to bed, dude?”

Bill didn’t answer so much as shove Ted back toward their room, kissing away his giggles as he stumbled and staggered along.

He stopped laughing when he fell on the bed, bouncing a little from the impact of his back against Bill’s shitty mattress. 

Ted’s hair was a mess, going absolutely everywhere as he blinked up at Bill with a flushed-pink face and Bill wanted to swallow him whole. “Dude.”

Ted nodded like he felt just the same even as Bill struggled to articulate the swirling, surging emotion inside of him.

He shucked off his boxers before climbing on top, staying up on his hands and knees to kiss Ted slow and deep.

Ted wrapped his arms around Bill's shoulders as he worked long, dexterous toes into the cuffs of Bill's socks to shove them off his feet until he was completely, gloriously naked.

He pulled away from Ted’s mouth with a soft, wet sound that made his dick twitch.

Ted was hard and leaking in his boxers, damp spot spreading across the faded cotton and Bill wanted to taste. 

He dropped a gentle, tentative hand down to pet over Ted’s cock through the fabric and Ted made the most beautiful sound.

So, he did it again, and then again, and—

“Ted. Can I—?”

Ted lifted his hips up to wiggle his boxers down his thighs, panting as he met Bill’s eyes. “Yes. Please.”

Beautiful. He couldn’t know how beautiful he was like this. How beautiful he was, every moment of every day.

Unless Bill told him.

He kissed him, first, sucking at his bottom lip before he broke away to kiss down his neck, finally letting the words break through. 

“Beautiful, Ted. Duder, you’re so,” Ted’s breath hitched, combing through Bill’s curls as he paused to lick experimentally at Ted’s nipples, “so lovely. Resplendent.”

Ted started trembling beneath his hands, whispering Bill’s name between soft, breathy moans, and then Bill couldn’t stop.

Couldn’t stop kissing, and licking, and telling Ted the honest truth.

“Gorgeous, like this. Can’t believe I get to kiss you. Can’t believe I get to love you, Ted.”

Ted’s tummy was so soft and sweet that Bill couldn’t resist rubbing his face against it, more dragging his open mouth across than kissing. Ted let his legs fall open to frame Bill’s shoulders, squeezing him with his knees. “You, too. You, too, Bill. Most resplendent. I just want to kiss you forever, dude.”

That sounded good. Awesome. Perfect. 

Bill nodded as he kissed down to the crease of Ted’s thigh, snuffling softly. “I just want to love you forever, dude.”

Ted said his name again, like it had been pulled out of him, as Bill licked through his dark curls. Ted smelled more like Ted, here. And like sex. It made Bill’s mouth water.

The head of Ted’s cock was wet and shiny, popped out of his foreskin and so flushed it was nearly purple. Bill hesitated, heart pounding, before kissing just once at the base of his cock. 

His skin was hot and silky and Bill opened his mouth to taste and it was. So good. 

Deep and dark with salty musk and incredibly, undeniably Ted.

He licked his way up the shaft while Ted whimpered and squirmed, fingers digging into Bill’s shoulders. “Bill, Bill, oh! You feel so good.”

Bill licked over the head of his cock, moaning at the intense flavor of him. “You taste good, Ted.”

Ted wasn’t talking anymore, whining and moaning as Bill kissed and licked every inch of his cock until saliva was dripping down his balls. 

Bill traced a long vein with his tongue as he swiped up the mess on his fingers. He let them trail lower and lower, swirling just beside Ted’s hole as he lifted his head to catch his eye. “Can I? Go inside, dude, just a little?” 

Ted bucked his hips off the bed as his heels skidded against the sheets, trying to open wider. “Please!”

Bill lifted one of Ted’s feet to rest on his shoulder while he slowly, carefully pressed the wet tip of one finger against his hole.

He was closed up tight, and Bill started to have serious doubts that this was going to work, let alone anything else he might have surreptitiously read about in that book about ancient Greek dudes.

Ted let out a harsh breath and his body relaxed just enough for Bill’s finger to slip inside to the first knuckle.

Ted was silky smooth and burning hot inside, impossibly tight as he squeezed around Bill’s finger with a little moan.

It made Bill thrust his hips down against the sheets, cock aching. “You feel incredible, feel  _ so good  _ inside.”

Ted made a high, strangled sound of acknowledgement and Bill looked up to find his eyes screwed shut, red mouth open and panting.

He was better than the hottest porno Bill had ever seen. “So hot, dude. You’re so fucking hot, Ted.”

It should have been embarrassing, how growly his voice had gotten, but Bill didn’t have to be embarrassed, because he was with Ted.

He licked his way back up his cock as his finger slowly slipped deeper inside, barely moving for fear of hurting him.

He gathered his courage and sucked the head of his cock into his mouth while he curled his finger just a little and Ted came with a shout, back arching off the bed and feet kicking as his thighs shook against Bill's shoulders.

Bill choked on the sudden, salty rush and pulled off sputtering, cum dripping from his lips, before frantically licking at Ted’s spurting, throbbing cock.

He could feel him squeezing rhythmically around his finger and he almost came all over their sheets at the very thought of being inside Ted while he made him shake and squeeze and come like this.

Ted twisted away from his tongue with a choked whine and Bill sat up, carefully removing his finger.

“You did so good, Ted. I love you so much, dude.”

“Get up here!”

Ted pulled at him like a drunk octopus, urging Bill to crawl up his body until they lay belly to belly, Bill’s hard cock trapped between.

Ted immediately wrapped his legs around Bill’s hips and started rocking his own as he yanked Bill's head down to kiss him breathless, muttering into his mouth. “Come on. Come on, Bill, now you. Wanna see it. You’re so beautiful, dude. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

It was enough, combined with the slick slide of Bill’s cock across his cum-soaked stomach, to push Bill over the edge.

Ted kissed him until he came down and collapsed with a sigh onto Ted’s shoulder.

“That was outstanding, Ted,” Bill whispered, kissing Ted’s cheek. “You were outstanding.”

“So were you,” Ted returned shyly, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

Bill couldn’t wait to spend his days with Ted like this - in bed, or on the couch, or even in the kitchen, just being together. Touching. Kissing.

Now that the tension was broken and Bill came down from that earth-shattering orgasm, he groaned and rolled out of bed.

“Bill?”

Ted sounded distressed, and Bill leaned in to kiss him reassuringly. “Just grabbing a towel to wipe us down, duder. I’ll be right back.”

Ted nodded, trusting Bill, and Bill hurried into the hallway and then the bathroom to wet a washcloth. He wiped himself down, squeezing the water out and washing the cloth quickly before turning the water hot and hurrying back to the bedroom. Wiping Ted down carefully, Bill couldn’t stop smiling.

He couldn’t stop as he laid back down next to Ted, curling up against his best friend’s side. He couldn’t stop as he kissed at Ted’s shoulder, along his collarbone, to the base of his throat where he nuzzled softly. He couldn’t stop even when Ted ducked his head for another kiss, moaning softly against Ted’s lips.

“Can I have the blanket,Ted? My ass is totally getting cold.”

Ted lifted the blanket with his foot, catching it in one hand.

Then he paused, and looked at Bill through sly lashes. 

“Wrestle me for it, dude?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lostnoise- What a wild ride! I hope you enjoyed our little cannon ball into this ship and fandom. There’s more to come from both of us in BnT so keep your eyes peeled! Thanks for joining us!
> 
> Heck- Oh my dudes. Y’all have no idea. I’m going to write so much nonsense for these two and their evil robot counterparts. Ohohohohoho!
> 
> Follow us, we’re great!   
> Also, Heck writes gay romance novels with original dudes, more info on social media:
> 
> https://twitter.com/HeckinaH
> 
> https://twitter.com/rvspberryjonas
> 
> http://heck-in-a-handbasket.tumblr.com/
> 
> http://rvspberryjvm.tumblr.com/


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